Monday, May 21, 2012

Kiss of A Strawberry: Chapter 3 and 4!

Okay guys, this time I'm posting the next two chapters. But before that, I'll tell you what I think of the story so far. It seems like a good concept to start out with. Afterall, couples that started seeing each other don't always stay together for long. The structure is pretty good too, and it makes me want to keep reading. The whole Kish and Ichigo thing is cute too. However, the things that bugged me were that, it can be very predictable. Althought this fanfic does not have an ending yet, I could predict how some of the events were going to turn out in the story. (The Ayoma bashing is not my favorite part of the story either.) Read on and you might see what I mean.

                                                                     Chapter 3

Ichigo froze in place at the sight she was seeing. Floating in front of her, just outside her window, was Kisshu. Kisshu, the very alien who tormented her five years ago, turned countless animals and humans into Chimera animals, was here, just grinning his mischievous grin. "W-Wha…H-how can this…w-why are you even…?" Ichigo stuttered as she tried to piece together everything happening right now. Still wearing his signature grin, Kisshu moved forward, and sat down on her windowsill,
"Kitty-cat, it's been such a long time, my my how much you've…grown." Kisshu said as his eyes scanned her up and down. He saw just how more developed and taller Ichigo has gotten, along with her longer cherry hair, she was looking more like a grown woman than ever. And still, her breathtaking beauty didn't tarnish over time. Ichigo, on the other hand, was too busy gazing at the now full-grown Kisshu. He sure has grown a lot these past five years, since he was no longer a short and skinny kid, but much taller, was muscular yet slender framed and looked more like a young man than a young boy. To put it plain and simple, he was handsome.
"K-Kisshu I…I can't believe it's you." Ichigo muttered in shock. Kisshu smirked and stood up, "Believe it Kitten, I'm right here and now." As he stood up, however, his cloth bands to his pants got caught on a nail, and in his hurry, he accidentally tripped and collided with Ichigo. Ichigo squealed as he did so, and was trying to squirm her way out of his weight, "Get off!" she cried out, but Kisshu chuckled and leaned in closer, "Why? I kind of like this little position." He said in a low, flirty tone. As he looked down at her, he noticed by her head was a piece of a ripped photograph. Picking it up, he saw that it was Masaya's face inside, and when he looked around the room, saw more pieces just like it, "What's this all about Kitten?" he asked half-laughingly, but his face fell when he saw the tearstains on her cheeks and her red puffy eyes. "Ichigo, why are you crying, did…something happen with Aoyama-kun?" Kisshu questioned her. Ichigo, unable to hold back any longer, wrapped her arms around him and broke down crying, "K-Kisshu, *sob*…I...*sob*..."
As she sniffled and sobbed, Ichigo spilled out everything that happened to her, from the beginning of the date, to the end when Masaya dumped her. And Kisshu, well, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. That sickeningly perfect human, Masaya Aoyama, broke up with Ichigo? And he thought the two were inseparable. Kisshu's heart pounded with rage how could he? How could he just throw away his precious Ichigo like that? He knew that Aoyama was a fiend to begin with. But Ichigo, his beloved Ichigo, she didn't deserve that. Yet all he could do right now, was wrap his arms around her in a gentle hug.
She didn't mind, she was too busy crying to care. He even stroked through her maroon locks of hair, like petting a cat, just to make her feel better.
Finally, after 30 more minutes of crying her eyes out, Ichigo pulled back and wiped her eyes, "Thank you, Kisshu, for staying here. I know I don't deserve it…" she said sadly, but Kisshu spoke back sternly, "No you listen to me Ichigo; that Masaya was scum to begin with. Yes he may have been the so-called 'perfect boyfriend' of your dreams, but trust me Ichigo, you deserve better than him. You deserve…." Kisshu stopped at that last sentence, not wanting to spill the beans about his feelings for her too soon. Ichigo sniffed and grabbed a tissue, smiling back at Kisshu,
"I know, I know. I should just stop being so gloomy about all this. Yet, me and Masaya have been dating for quite a long time, I just, I don't really know how to move on." Looking down at her as she dried her tears off, Kisshu lifted his hand to gently cup her chin, "Then, how about this?" he said as he gently pressed his lips to hers, catching her completely by surprise. Strangely enough, she wasn't resisting like she used to. In fact, she kind of liked it. It lasted for about five minutes, and then he let go, giving her a gentle smile as he did so, "Ichigo, will you go on a date with me?." Ichigo instantly gasped and pulled back, "Kisshu, I-", "-You don't have to answer right away, you can tell me when you're ready. Think it over." he told her calmly, "A-Are you sure?" Ichigo pondered to him, surprised by his rather gentle demeanor. This was not the Kisshu she once knew five years ago. Pulling out a card with a phone number on it, Kisshu handed it over to Ichigo, "When you're ready to answer, just call okay?". She nodded solemnly and said one more thing to him, "Kisshu...thank you." And with a swish of the wind, he teleported away.
Standing over the park bridge, and gazing into the water, Masaya was looking back over the last couple of days. Truthfully he did feel guilty breaking things off with Ichigo like that, but what else could he do? The truth is, he simply didn't love her the same anymore. After transforming back from Deep Blue and coming back from his near-death experience, everything about him and Ichigo, changed. The realization that he was Deep Blue made him very cautious and worried about his relationship with his red-haired lover. Thoughta about somehow losing control and changing back into Deep Blue made him scared. These past five years didn't help much at all either. Even with Ichigo he was too focused on those dark thoughts. And with that, his love for Ichigo Momomiya, faded away.
"Hey, Aoyama-kun." called a distinctive familiar voice, snapping Masaya out of his trance and making him look around. Looking up, he saw that frightenly familiar face of Kisshu, the Alien sworn enemy of the Mew Mews. His face had a look of serious rage in it's features, and the glow in his eye made Masaya more frightened, "W-What the...What are you doing here?" he gasped in confusion. Narrowing his eyes, the full-grown Alien swooped down and grabbed Masaya by the collar of his shirt, holding him over the edge of the stream, "You, you're the one who broke my sweet Neko's heart." he hissed darkly at the human, who was quivering and struggling to get out of his grasp. Smirking, Kisshu effortlessly threw him several feet across the park, making him land in a pile of thorny bushes. Fortunately for him, his Alien roots left him remarkable invulnerability, so a landing like that left him only a few bruises and scrapes.
Gritting his teeth in dissatisfaction, Kisshu swooped down again and kicked Aoyama in the sides, making him groan, "I'm telling you this once, Masaya Aoyama, never go near Ichigo again!" he yelled at him angrily, then teleported away, leaving the human boy all alone. The only emotion he thought of right now, was regret.

                                                                      Chapter 4
Back at Café Mew Mew, Ichigo and the gang were getting ready to call it a day. Lettuce, Pudding, and Ichigo helped put away the dishes, Zakuro and Mint were sitting by themselves, as usual, and Berry was busy wiping the counters down. The past five years has changed each of the girls dramatically.
Lettuce was now taller, curvier, and let her hair grow out to her elbows, and now she wore contacts so she won't have to wear glasses anymore. Mint was still short admittedly, but she was growing to look more like a young lady than ever, with her last year of high-school starting after the summer. Zakuro still looked the same, albeit with slightly shorter hair and being a bit taller. Even Berry herself looked different than before, since she was taller and she even had a full bust now, almost bigger than Lettuce, if that was even possible. But most of all, Pudding had changed the most out of all the Mew Mews. Now that she's 15 and starting high school soon, Pudding has became a very pretty young girl with shoulder-length blonde hair, a well-developed figure, and even grew a little taller, though she's still pretty short compared to the others.
"Wow, what a day it's been." Lettuce exhaled as she put the last of the dishes into the sink. "We've haven't had that many customers in weeks, boy what a party." Pudding exclaimed. "Well we're the only ones who could get it done ladies, so we might as well work our very hardest." Mint told the two, all the while sipping tea in her favorite chair. "You're the one to talk Mint, you barely do any work!" Berry chided to the rich girl, who just smirked and went back to sipping her tea, "Why of course I am, I'm supervising."
Lettuce and Pudding laughed a little and turned to Ichigo for a cheery response, but she wasn't saying anything. Ichigo was looking blankly at the ceiling, with a thoughtful look on her face. "Huh, Onee-chan? Earth to Onee-chan?" Pudding chanted to Ichigo, to try and snap her out of her trance. Sighing, Ichigo closed her eyes and looked down, still very much lost in thought. "Hey Ichigo, what's the matter? You're usually very perky on these kinds of days." Berry questioned to the red-haired girl. Reluctantly, Ichigo placed her hand in her front pocket, pulling out a thin green card with the phone number on it. "Ichigo, what's that?" Mint questioned suspiciously. Ichigo at first didn't want to tell them the truth, but their suspicious glares made her relent and sigh.
"I-It's a card, with Kisshu's number on it." Ichigo muttered out, making all of the Mew Mew's gasp. "W-Wha? You're kidding right Ichigo?" Lettuce asked, in an unsure voice. Ichigo sighed and shook her head, "No I'm not Lettuce. Kisshu dropped in and he gave me his card." Mint looked shocked at that, "You mean he's HERE, on planet earth?". Pudding, the only one to actually look happy, went up to Ichigo, "Did he bring Taru-Taru with him?" she asked hopefully, but Ichigo didn't say anything, so she was disappointed. "Sorry for asking, but who's Kisshu?" asked a confused Berry. Zakuro turned her head to her and said, "He was a former enemy of ours from a long time ago. His leader almost tried to destroy the earth." Berry gasped and went for her Berry rod, "Well in that case let's go get him!"
"NO!" Ichigo cried to her, making everyone turn and face her, "He's not evil anymore guys, he's really changed these past five years. A-And he tried to cheer me up after Masaya dumped me. So please guys, promise me you won't hurt him, please?" Lettuce had a look of concern on her face. Why is Ichigo the one defending Kisshu like this? She was his number one target five years ago. "So why do you have his phone number then Ichigo?". Gulping, Ichigo turned red and nervously spilled out, "He…um…asked me on a date." The Mew Mews gasped, again.
"What? You mean he came all this way just to ask you out? So what did you say?" questioned Mint. "Well I didn't give him an answer yet, he told me to call him when I figure it out." Berry went up to Ichigo, "So you're going to tell him 'no' right? Right?". Ichigo gulped again and looked down, "Well no…it's not that I just…uhh…". Pudding's eyes widened, "You mean you're gonna say 'yes'?". Ichigo blushed more and turned away, "So it's true! You ARE gonna say 'yes'! I knew it!" cried Pudding as she danced around Ichigo in joy. Zakuro, who was quiet this whole time, spoke out to the blushing girl, "Either way, it's none of our business whether she decides to go or not. So why don't we all just leave her alone and let her decide for herself." Taking a sigh of relief, Ichigo grabbed the green card and got up from the chair, "Well my shift is over for now, thank you everyone, for your support, ~nya!" she cheered to them as she walked out the door and waved goodbye. As soon as she left, the other Mew Mew's sighed as well.
"Let's hope this doesn't become a disaster." Berry said, the other girls nodding in agreement.
Back at her house, Ichigo was sitting on her bed, looking down at the little green card she was holding. In her mind, she was deciding whether or not to just call Kisshu right now and give him her answer. But the other half of her was arguing no, that it'd be stupid if she just flat out told him. And yet, her little pink cell-phone was sitting right next to her side, so tempting and so resisting. But Ichigo decided, "Sigh, I guess I should just call him now." She muttered as she flipped her phone open and dialed the number.
What a strange number, Ichigo thought as the phone began to ring on the other line. Just a few minutes later, a voice picked it up, and it sounded strange, "Hello, who is this?" it demanded. Ichigo gulped and took a deep breath, "Um, t-this is Ichigo Momomiya, calling for Kisshu the Alien, is he there?". The voice boomed back to her, "This is a private non-authorized and heavily armed Alien territory, no humans are allowed to be contacting us." Ichigo was disappointed, "Oh, okay then I'll just-".
"-WAIT!" cried a familiar voice who snatched the phone from the other person, "I-Ichigo, is that you? Please forgive me, that was one of the guards here and he probably thought you were a spy." Ichigo giggled into the phone, "Oh it's okay Kisshu, everything's fine, don't worry ~nya!" Smiling at the other end, Kisshu spoke up again, "So my little Kitten, why have you called?". Ichigo got a little nervous when he said that, but bravely she told him, "Well Kisshu, I have the answer that you asked for." Kisshu leaned in closely to hear her,
"I would…like to go on a date with you."


  1. Just letting you know that I'm really behind on reading. I keep forgetting about it. :D I'll catch up ASAP!

  2. Very predictable. It's funny while, still out of character, Aoyama only just broke up with her, they made it seem like it was such an evil thing XD.

    And his name is Quiche. You guys let mistranslated fansubs influence you guys too much XD.